The Velvet Peasant

A Case Study in Costuming for the Research Impaired

I really do try not to be one of the Costume Nazis. Really. Somewhere, deep within my heart of hearts, I do believe that the purpose of dressing up for a faire is to have fun, and as long as you're having fun and you'd tried, well, then, it's all good. Rather unfortunately, the part of me that believes this is buried *very* deep in my heart of hearts, which is kept under lock, key, and layers of sarcasm. I try to be nice about other people's costumes. I try to remember that if I don't have anything nice to say, I should not say anything at all, especially when no one has actually asked for my opinion. But since I also believe that it is unhealthy to keep things bottled up inside oneself, I thought I'd take a moment and type up a list of things that invariably make me roll my eyes when I see them....

• Peasants in Velvet - Oh, now really kids.... Even if you've never heard of a sumptuary law, do you honestly things that Muddie Meg the Peasant Girl could really afford velvet?
• Peasants in Acetate Velvet - it just adds insult to injury, doesn't it? Natural fiber - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
• Peasants in Acetate Velvet, Polyester Satin, and Gold Trim - Sometimes, I'd like to re-enact those sumptuary laws.
• Noble Gowns with (not quite) Hidden Zippers - oh, please!
• Corsetless Nobles - those wrinkles and bulges really do nothing to show off the cut of the dress, you know.
• Men Wearing Semi-Sheer Tights as Hose - guys, at least shave.
• Gowns in Crushed or Stretch Velvet - they are really not period fabrics. Honest.
• Darts. (Ok, I admit it, the first bodice I had had darts. I was young and didn't know any better!)
• Noble Gowns without Farthingales - even the italiens wore petticoats to puff out the skirts...
• Women in costume with Swords - whatever would Freud say?
• Wrist Watches - pocket watches are close. Wrist watches are really right out.
• Hose with Sheer or Lace Panels - I should not have to say more here.

For more reading on a similar vein, check out Sarah's list of pet peeves.