Variety

Warning: This page contains an abnormally high opinion quotient.

It's the spice of life. You'd think we'd see a little more of it at Ren Faires, wouldn't you?

There are a few things that get me going on a really good costuming rant. Variety is one of them. This last season might as well have been officially dedicated to Simplicity's 'Ever After' spin off pattern. Not that it's not a perfectly nice dress (if you like pseudo italien-esque with darts), but come on, kids....If I am any judge of trends, next year will be dominated by Simplicity's 'Shakespeare in Love' spin off. (Which is, as pattern construction and authenticity goes, stunningly mediocre, which is well above what I normally think of Simplicity's historical patterns. ("Godawfully abysmal", if you want to know.))

Here's a clue: If you are going to make a dress that is just like the pattern, USE DIFFERENT COLORS for crying out loud. Please. Try having a little fun with an accessory or two. And for heaven's sake, do a little research on appropriate fabrics and colors, rather than just reading the back of the pattern envelope.

Here's another one: Does every member of the peasant/lower middle class absolutely have to walk around in a front closing bodice (with obligatory large exposed metal grommets), chemise with elastic at the neckline, two lightweight cotton skirts (at least one tucked up to midthigh on one side), a great big belt with a mug on it, and possibly a muffin cap? I know that most faire's have rules about what their employees can wear, but are the really absolutely that strict? It does not take an incredible seamstress to add a little personal touch to an outfit: tack on a band or three of colored twill tape around the bottom of the outer skirt, or do a little needle point around the band of that muffin cap, or maybe impose upon a seamstress you know to get a chemise without elastic at the neckline? Maybe? Please?

Moving up in class, I'd like to state my personal grievance against the 'flat white partlet' theory of noble woman's costume. I'm sure there are a lot of people who know exactly what I am talking about here: noble women who have lavished huge amounts of attention (or at least, money) on their dresses, but somehow have chosen to wear them with an opaque white cotton partlet that is completely devoid of edging, embroidery, decoration, grace, or charm. Please go look at a portrait or few.