Small Clarification…

I just realized there’s a pretty psychotic split between the last two posts – I love my job, my job is destroying my brain… What gives there?Easy answer: I have multiple jobs.

I work in theater. I lovelovelove that. I get to sew costumes, I get to do arts and crafts, I get paid to work out (that’s the load-in load-out crew stuff), I get to meet crazy-cool people and learn all sorts of new tricks from people who run wardrobe for a living – it’s great. It’s also feast-or-famine – there’s either way too much work, or there’s none to be had. You take what you can get, and try to find ways to ride out the slow times.

I work for myself. I’m pretty serious about this whole blog/ebooks/patterns business. I get to geek out and do what I love, and hopefully be of some use to others. That’s about the best thing there is. :) But I’m no where near ready to support myself with it yet, and I’m dead opposed to selling ad space on the site, so it’s going to take a while to grow.

I do web-dev stuff. It’s not that I hate it, generally speaking. I just find that if I do too much of it for too long, I start thinking like a programmer again. My mind goes all sort of eine-swei-eine-swei rigid, and I think more in terms of workflow and “how”.

And the problem with spending all your time wondering “How do I..?” is that you stop asking “What if I…?” It’s that whole Zen thing about the beginner’s mind.

It just annoys me a little when I notice that my mind is starting to slip back into old habits. I didn’t like myself very much when I was programming all the time. It made me kinda spikey, and I could never understand why people were always getting all shadey with me, and I had a really hard time saying simple things like “I don’t know how to do that.” Bring up all your preconceptions about a scared little geek-girl with no social skills to speak of and way to much ego – that was me. I stayed away from programming for years because I hated what it did to me. It was the hardest thing to look at going back in to it, even for my own purposes, and try to approach it with a more open attitude.

It’s just something I have to be mindful of, or I start slipping back into that old self. I really, really don’t want to do that. I like who I am now.

The things we do for a stable paycheck, right? *laugh*

4 Comments

  1. I found that when I was running college and high school offices that I became ruthlessly efficient and started thinking of people as numbers and less like real people. I also found myself needing a creative outlet. Knowing how to balance this kind of stuff is hard, but necessary, and you seem to be doing an excellent job. More fun, I say!

  2. I’ve enjoyed reading about hat making and keeping the balance of all the parts of who a person is. I am now finding some areas that I seem to be good at. I’ve found the courage to try many different things. Even though it takes me longer to do some things than others, I enjoy making things.

    Thank you for your blog. May you be able to keep your balance of fun and necessity.

  3. Your brain is just fine! Missa, I was wondering if you have been working on Miss Piggie’s dress???? Inquiring minds want to know!

    Also wanted to let you know I am looking forward to seeing you at Bristol this July – I have not been there in 2 seasons (we live too far away to make it very often). Miss seeing you and everyone at FOF.

    Hugs, Scarlet

    1. Nope. Costuming 1776 right now, and it’s eating my life. Believe me, I would much rather be playing with my dolls, or even posting about how it’s even possible to buy costumes for 1776 at ye olde Goodwill(e). (Hint: there really are user-serviceable parts inside of a sport coat…)

      Bwahahahaha! At least it’s the right side of my brain exploding this time….

      Ah, balance – how I long for thee….

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